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Imagine...: Rant.

nowheregirlanna:

I miss you… I miss you a lot, actually. The sad part about it is that you most likely don’t even miss me, I bet I don’t even cross your mind anymore. I haven’t talked to you in a while, I’m doing it for my own good, to get over you because I really do have strong feelings towards you. I wish I…

(Source: nowheregirlanna)

I’m learning to not become angry with people who do not understand my depression. It is simply because they do not understand. I’ve learned that depression is not sadness. It is a completely separate entity, almost the opposite of sadness. I know this because when I first began feeling depression, I didn’t know what it was. I had no idea what was wrong with me, what I was feeling.. or better yet, not feeling. All I knew was that moving from place to place was almost impossible, eating main food was a struggle, night time brought tears from nowhere and even the little things seemed pointless. It wasn’t until the doctor told me that what I was experiencing was bipolar disorder that it all started to make sense. Depression is a demon. It posseses your mind, body and soul. It steals your feelings and replaces them with a heaviness that is indescribable. It’s as if you are stuck in a deep, dark hole and no one and nothing can pull you out. It tells you that you are pathetic, you are a burden and you are better off dead. It tells you that you are a failure and uses every small, tiny example of a failure in your life to prove its point. It tells you that you are unloved and worthless. It doesn’t let you sleep because then it has more time to possess your mind and dictate your every move. It brings tears at the wrong time and doesn’t allow you to cry when you want to. It is a disease, a terrible, seemingly unbearable disease. The next time someone tries to tell you that your depression is not real and you should not be on medication, be patient and remind yourself that they do not understand. Also remind yourself that depression is a medical condition that can kill you with your own hands, if you allow it to. Never let anyone tell you that what you are experiencing isn’t real because unless they have felt it, they have no idea just how real it is. Most important thing to remember and don’t ever forget it: THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Depression does not linger forever, it can’t. You are stronger than it.

(Source: adreamersstory)